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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Forever Quotes
- Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes
- His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hope Quotes
- It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Women are made to be loved, not understood.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes
- No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes
- Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes