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Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes
957
Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
5 years ago
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
, Funny Quotes
, Sarcastic Quotes
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
6 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
6 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
5 years ago
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
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I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.
6 years ago
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Adam Sandler Quotes
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Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
5 years ago
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
6 years ago
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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.
5 years ago
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
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I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
5 years ago
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Charles Dickens Quotes
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The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
6 years ago
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Alan Coren Quotes
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
6 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!
6 years ago
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Alan Carr Quotes
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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
5 years ago
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Albert Einstein Quotes
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I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.
6 years ago
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Al Oerter Quotes
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A jury too often has at least one member more ready to hang the panel than to hang the traitor.
6 years ago
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Abraham Lincoln Quotes
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No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.
5 years ago
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Margaret Thatcher Quotes
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A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
5 years ago
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
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You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father s. He's more particular. The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.
5 years ago
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Robert Frost Quotes
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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
5 years ago
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
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Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock your bonnet off, and tread upon it!
5 years ago
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Charles Dickens Quotes
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