Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

4 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

4 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I hate women because they always know where things are.

4 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

What I tell you three times is true.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.

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Tags : Al Unser Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

4 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

4 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

4 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes