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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- But you shall not escape my iambics.
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Tags : Catullus Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- We have the best government that money can buy.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.
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Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes
- On life's vast ocean diversely we sail. Reasons the card, but passion the gale.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes
- For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes
- But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure!
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes
- Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.
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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes
- Wen you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now; but vether it's worth while goin' through so much to learn so little, as the charity-boy sand ven he go to the end of the alphabet, it's a matter of taste.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes