Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes