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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.
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- Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
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- INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.
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- There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.
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- HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.
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- EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.
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- History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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- MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
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- Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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- Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.
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- Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.
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- MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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- Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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- HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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- ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.
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- NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
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- Liar: A lawyer with a roving commission.
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- A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.
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- All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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- PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.
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