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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
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- Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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- Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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- Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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- Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
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- MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.
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- REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.
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- Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.
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- PLATITUDE, n. The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. A desiccated epigram.
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- A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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- SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
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- Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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- Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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- The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.
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- ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
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- Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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- ENOUGH, pro. All there is in the world if you like it.
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- RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.
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- It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
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- He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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