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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes
- Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure!
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mother Quotes
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mistake Quotes
- Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes
- As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes
- The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.
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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- If a student takes the whole series of my folklore courses including the graduate seminars, he or she should learn something about fieldwork, something about bibliography, something about how to carry out library research, and something about how to publish that research.
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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes