Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Believe Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girlfriend Quotes

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

He took the bride about the neck and kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack that at the parting all the church did echo.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kissing Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I hate women because they always know where things are.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes