Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, People Quotes

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Never confuse movement with action.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Eating words has never given me indigestion.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Health Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

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Tags : Franz Kafka Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fighting Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

For your popular rumour, unlike the rolling stone of the proverb, is one which gathers a deal of moss in its wanderings up and down.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Science Quotes

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes