George W. Bush Quotes, Funny Quotes, Peace Quotes

I think war is a dangerous place.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

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Tags : Al Neuharth Quotes , Funny Quotes , Attitude Quotes

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Thinking Quotes

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave.

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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

'Tis a superstition to insist on a special diet. All is made at last of the same chemical atoms.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes