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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- It's your money. You paid for it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes
- My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes
- That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes