Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Science Quotes

"Vell," said Mr. Weller, "Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alleybi. I've been a turnin' the bis'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy. I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here-never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

No man knows he is young while he is young.

4 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

4 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes