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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- "Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I buy expensive suits - they just look cheap on me.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- It's just as unpleasant to get more than you bargain for as to get less.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes
- A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes
- A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- What is a husband? He is the one who, with a touch, can bring back the starlight and glow of years long ago. At least he hopes he can - don't disappoint him.
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Tags : Alan Beck Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes
- An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes