Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes, Funny Quotes, Spiritual Quotes

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

4 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Spiritual Quotes

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Gore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Revenge Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

It's just as unpleasant to get more than you bargain for as to get less.

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

The French complain of everything, and always.

4 years ago

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes