Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Age Quotes

A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

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Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

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Riches are for spending.

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A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.

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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

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The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fake People Quotes

Dombey and Son had often dealt in hides, but never in hearts. They left that fancy ware to boys and girls, and boarding-schools and books. Mr. Dombey would have reasoned: That a matrimonial alliance with himself must, in the nature of things, be gratifying and honourable to any woman of common sense. That the hope of giving birth to a new partner in such a house, could not fail to awaken a glorious and stirring ambition in the breast of the least ambitious of her sex.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

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We were together. I forget the rest.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes