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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- A true sonnet goes eight lines and then takes a turn for better or worse and goes six or eight lines more.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes
- Mr. Bazzard's father, being a Norfolk farmer, would have furiously laid about him with a flail, a pitch-fork, and every agricultural implement available for assaulting purposes, on the slightest hint of his son's having written a play.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes
- People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.
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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.
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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baseball Quotes
- The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- A community is infinitely more brutalised by the habitual employment of punishment than it is by the occasional occurence of crime.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.
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Tags : Al Unser Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes