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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.
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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes
- I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Successful Quotes
- Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.
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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , War Quotes
- The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
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Tags : Franz Kafka Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fighting Quotes
- Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- Never confuse movement with action.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- He is like a female llama surprised in her bath.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes