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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.
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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Funny Quotes , Ignorance Quotes
- NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- [Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.
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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pimples Quotes
- It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation, To puff and look important and to say:- 'Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you, We will therefore pay you cash to go away.'
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Temptation Quotes
- A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes
- It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- We have the best government that money can buy.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- A joke is a very serious thing.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Triumph Quotes
- If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes
- Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes