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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.
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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Funny Quotes , Ignorance Quotes
- It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Farewell, fair cruelty.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- They misunderestimated me.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- Were kisses all the joys in bed, One woman would another wed.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mother Quotes
- Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sexy Quotes
- Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes