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  • Funny Quotes   957
  • This past Thanksgiving, my father was at the farm, and I had all 11 dogs in the house with a father who never allowed dogs in the house. And he got up to leave the table and came back and Solomon was in his chair. And he says, "This dog is in my chair." And I said, "It's the other way around, you're sitting in his chair."
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
  • As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes
  • You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes