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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave.
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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed.
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Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- But the peasants - how do the peasants die?
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- "Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes
- Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes