Warren Buffett Quotes, Funny Quotes, Success Quotes

Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

5 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Gay Quotes