Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

4 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A community is infinitely more brutalised by the habitual employment of punishment than it is by the occasional occurence of crime.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

4 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Funny Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Prejudices are what fools use for reason.

4 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Use It Or Lose It Quotes

Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

4 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I've taken my fun where I've found it, An' now I must pay for my fun, For the more you 'ave known o' the others The less will you settle to one.

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes