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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- He would make a lovely corpse.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- But the peasants - how do the peasants die?
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes
- What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Gay Quotes
- In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.
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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes
- There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Real Quotes
- It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Give me the luxuries and I can dispense with the necessities.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
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Tags : A. A. Milne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes
- The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes