Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Girl Quotes

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baseball Quotes

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

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Tags : Alanis Morissette Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fate Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Spiritual Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Army Quotes

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes