William Shakespeare Quotes, Funny Quotes, Depression Quotes

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Communication Quotes

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

5 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

To buy books would be a good thing if we could also buy the time to read them; but the purchase of books is often mistaken for the assimilation and mastering of their contents.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smoking Quotes

Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Be excellent and party on dudes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

Both Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa had a superstition, however, that he would have declared his passion, if he had not been cut short in his youth (at about sixty) by over-drinking his constitution, and over-doing an attempt to set it right again by swilling Bath water.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , America Quotes

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

5 years ago

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes