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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Appreciation Quotes
- Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.
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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes
- A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- To say that obesity is caused by merely consuming too many calories is like saying that the only cause of the American Revolution was the Boston Tea Party.
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Tags : Adelle Davis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Party Quotes
- Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- ... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- "The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I think war is a dangerous place.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- If you cry ''Forward'' you must be sure to make clear the direction in which to go. Don't you see that if you fail to do that and simply call out the word to a monk and a revolutionary, they will go in precisely opposite directions?
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Failure Quotes
- There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it.
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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes
- You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.
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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes