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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- I've taken my fun where I've found it, An' now I must pay for my fun, For the more you 'ave known o' the others The less will you settle to one.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes
- We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes
- Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.
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Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes
- Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes
- I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Teeth Quotes
- On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mind Quotes
- The British are apt to make merits of their stupidities, and to represent their various incapacities as points of good breeding.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes
- The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes