Ernest Hemingway Quotes, Funny Quotes, Book Quotes

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Prejudices are what fools use for reason.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Use It Or Lose It Quotes

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A true sonnet goes eight lines and then takes a turn for better or worse and goes six or eight lines more.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes

There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mother Quotes