Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Clever Quotes

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cat Quotes

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Biography lends to death a new terror.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Eating words has never given me indigestion.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Health Quotes

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Prayer Quotes

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mistake Quotes

What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Sunshine is my quest.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes