Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes, Funny Quotes, Religious Quotes

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

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Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick!

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

It is obvious that all sense has gone out of modern marriage; which is, however, no objection to marriage but to modernity.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Hatred is blind, as well as love.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.

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Tags : William Blake Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes