Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes, Funny Quotes, Food Quotes

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Food Quotes

He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

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Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Funny Quotes , Brother Quotes

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Appreciation Quotes

Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honorable discharge.

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

Had be been Shakespeare, he would then have written Troilus and Cressidato brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog, he began to bite them.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes