Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, New Year Quotes

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

5 years ago

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes

The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

5 years ago

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes

Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes