Anton Chekhov Quotes, Funny Quotes, Failure Quotes

If you cry ''Forward'' you must be sure to make clear the direction in which to go. Don't you see that if you fail to do that and simply call out the word to a monk and a revolutionary, they will go in precisely opposite directions?

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Failure Quotes

That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

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Tags : Adi Da Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

God created sex. Priests created marriage.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If a student takes the whole series of my folklore courses including the graduate seminars, he or she should learn something about fieldwork, something about bibliography, something about how to carry out library research, and something about how to publish that research.

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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes