Adam Sandler Quotes, Funny Quotes, Blue Quotes

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes

Frailty, thy name is woman!

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Memorable Quotes

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Too much work, and no vacation, Deserves at least a small libation. So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses, Work's the curse of the drinking classes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick!

4 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

'Tis a superstition to insist on a special diet. All is made at last of the same chemical atoms.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

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Tags : Al Neuharth Quotes , Funny Quotes , Attitude Quotes

I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes