Winston Churchill Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

He is like a female llama surprised in her bath.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jealousy Quotes

On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mind Quotes

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Gore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes