Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Littles Quotes

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smoking Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.

5 years ago

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Riches are for spending.

5 years ago

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes