Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

4 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sister Quotes

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple.

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Tags : Rabindranath Tagore Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes