Lord Byron Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hope Quotes

The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wire Quotes

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Patience Quotes

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The British are apt to make merits of their stupidities, and to represent their various incapacities as points of good breeding.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

Biography lends to death a new terror.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes