Margaret Thatcher Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Faith Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

"Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes