Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

"The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Sanity is very rare; every man almost and every woman has a dash of madness.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth. At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others.

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uplifting Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Whatever advice you give, be short.

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Giving Quotes

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Art Quotes

I am sorry for those that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.

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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sorry Quotes

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

We spent as much money as we could and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition. There was a gay fiction among us that we were constantly enjoying ourselves, and a skeleton truth that we never did. To the best of my belief, our case was in the last aspect a rather common one.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes