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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Golf Quotes
- Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Successful Quotes
- Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes
- Absence - that common cure of love.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Distance Quotes
- We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
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Tags : Alanis Morissette Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.
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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cities Quotes
- God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes
- I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes