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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper in sinks into the mind.
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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes
- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- Riches are for spending.
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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes
- I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes
- My best training came from my father.
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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes
- Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, "What will you have, sir?" And I said, "A glass of hemlock."
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes
- Whatever advice you give, be short.
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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Giving Quotes
- Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reality Quotes