George W. Bush Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

But the peasants - how do the peasants die?

5 years ago

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

4 years ago

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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Clayton Powell , Jr. Quotes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

4 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

4 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

The funniest people are the saddest once

4 years ago

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

It's a funny old world.

5 years ago

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , World Quotes

I can resist everything except temptation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

4 years ago

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sister Quotes

The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Distance Quotes

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

5 years ago

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Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

4 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes