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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes
- By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- ... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.
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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes
- My best training came from my father.
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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes
- A community is infinitely more brutalised by the habitual employment of punishment than it is by the occasional occurence of crime.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes
- The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes
- Whatever advice you give, be short.
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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Giving Quotes