Adam Carolla Quotes, Funny Quotes, Lonely Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Riches are for spending.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes