Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Christmas Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Communication Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes

What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Successful Quotes

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.

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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cities Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Patience Quotes

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Had be been Shakespeare, he would then have written Troilus and Cressidato brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog, he began to bite them.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes